Effective Steps To Anger Control
Source: Open Talk Magazine 12/12/2010 19:37:00
“I punched out my boss; now I don’t have a job!” “I broke my expensive television after watching my favorite team lose the championship!” “She said don’t call until I handle my anger issues!”
Does this seem familiar, or at least come close to similar incidents? If so, read on!
Anger is a strong emotion that happens when a person feels wronged or deceived in some way. Usually, a person believes the anger was caused by such action, but anger in reality comes from the person’s principles about the action. Each time you’re emotionally angry, you consider that there is something different in the situation in which your inability to admit reality occurs.
By tradition, there have been two preferences in dealing with anger. The first is to hold the anger within and simply smile and play nice; although the person is really torn inside. This way of dealing with anger has been found to be destructive by professionals and psychologists alike. They’ve discovered that holding anger inside can make a person cold, bitter, restless, non-communicative and even suicidal. What a person actually need is to express it, so the next alternative in dealing with anger is to get it out!
The problem with the second alternative is the majority have discovered that if you express your anger, it can have some destructive effects as well. Expressing your anger to others often puts them on the defensive side in which strong barriers are built between the people involved. Thus, we’ve learned that by both keeping anger inside and by expressing it outwards—there are negative repercussions.
So, is there a third option? Yes! It is one that can alter your view of life. It is handling anger in which it does not control you in any way, but in order to do so, you must first change your beliefs. Instead of being an obedient robot whose actions are maneuvered by what other people say and do, you can decide on your reactions by the choices you make. Changing your beliefs will not take a great amount of practice on your part, but will require a certain desire and mindset.
Start by following a few simple steps:
- Be watchful of your anger. Don’t deny such emotion. Take it as a flag that will tell you something’s wrong and needed to be cleared up. Ask yourself. “If I’m angry, what good benefit will I get from it? Who’s going to get hurt by my anger?”
- Reflect consciously on the beliefs that cause your anger. “What am I pondering that can make me suffer this way?” Anger-producing beliefs which are normally not helpful, will center on the thought that many circumstances should have been different.
- Confront your beliefs and exchange them for better options. Help yourself arrive at the conclusion that persons are going to do things just as the way they want to—which most often isn’t the way you would like them to do.
- Express anger in some other ways that won’t harm you or anyone else. Having a hard time getting over your anger? Burst it out in some other way—go for a long brisk walk, do some violent art, write yourself a letter then tear it up. Do whatever it takes to dismantle the anger so that you can handle the situation more constructively.
- Have a discussion about your feelings. Approach the person you may be having trouble with and then say, “I got hurt and really disappointed. Now I need to clear something up with you.” Never attack the person but instead attack the problems. Talk respectfully about how you feel without putting blame on someone else for making you feel angry.
Emotions and beliefs are very well related to each other and can largely control people. Certain emotional conditions may pilot to anxiety and self-defeating behaviors; and anger is the most self-destructive one among them. However, anger can be turned into a healthy and handy emotion if you exercise your controlling power over it!