Guide To Getting Along With Your Sibling
Source: Open Talk Magazine 11/12/2010 01:25:00
Do you have a sibling who gets on your nerve or causes constant conflicts? Think about the conflicts you’ve had with your brother or sister. What do you wrestle about most of the time; belongings, personal conflicts, or privacy? If your sibling continually upsets you by bossing you around or occupying your room—of course you may find it difficult to not take offense. If this is the case, how can you stop an annoyance from bursting into a furious argument?
First, identify the genuine concern. A horrible quarrel between siblings is frequently just the surface proof of an underlying issue. Learn to recognize the real issue, and you’ll get straight to the root problem.
Second, learn to avoid or resolve the conflict. Mostly, recognizing the primary issues you got with your sibling is only a fraction of the solution. There are other reasons that will need to be addressed as well that are usually not as obvious. It may be jealousy, competitiveness, outside anger, or simply a cry for attention.
Conflicts between siblings are popular amongst households where the siblings are fairly close in age however it doesn’t have to be this way. There are steps you can follow that will make you the master at solving current and future conflicts with your sibling and bring peace and serenity to your household and your life:
Agree to some rules. To help avoid disappointment, look back to how the conflict arrived between you and your sibling. See if you can exercise some rules that the two of you can agree on. For example, if you quarrel over possessions, rule 1 could be: “Always ask permission before taking any item that belongs to the other person.” Rule 2 could be: “Respect the sibling’s decision rather you like it or not.” This way the both of you create rules that the two of you can live by. Verify with your parents to be sure they support your agreement. Also, by involving your parents, you have re-enforcements if either one involved decides to go against the initial agreement.
Abide yourself by the rules. How can such rule be applied? If you want your sibling to value your privacy, for instance, then you likewise must knock before you enter your sibling’s room or ask permission before reading his or her emails or text messages.
Be not offended. If you find yourself in a ‘touchy’ mood, for example, your love relationship went sour or you got a bad grade in school, and your sibling begins to pick at you, instead of fighting with your sibling; take the time and share with your sibling what is bothering you and the impact it’s having on your life. You may find a good supporter of your feelings, instead of an enemy of war!
Say “I’m sorry.” Serious problems should be talked about and resolved. But must you label your sibling to account for each fault he or she makes? Be quick to say “I’m sorry,” and then explain what you believe was the reason behind the conflict.
Involve your parents as arbitrators. Your parents can assist you build peace if you and your sibling are not able to resolve crucial issues.
Appreciate your sibling’s good qualities. Your sibling likely has good qualities you admire. Write down many things that you appreciate about your sibling. Rather than getting obsessed by your sibling’s faults, take the time to share what you admire most about him or her?
Remember, your sibling is not just a sibling, but someone who is bonded to you by blood. This is unconditional love at its finest and should be looked at as such. When speaking in terms of a ‘best friend’ for life, what better person to fill the position than someone that grew up with you, shared the same past and loves you no matter how good or bad you are or have been. Rather you know it or not, your sibling has your back, and will always be there for you, and by following this guide presented before you, you can make this natural bond that much stronger.